How do you ask for what you really want? Do you pray? Do you wait for a falling star? Do you close your eyes when blowing birthday candles? Do you throw a coin into a lucky fountain? Do you fall onto your knees when anguished, shouting at the sky, “I’m begging you, I’ll change, I’ll be a good person from now on, just please, please, make this happen!”?
We have probably all heard someone say to us, “If you wish something hard enough, it will come true.” And we have all had those moments when we gave in to indifference and apathy once we actually did but, instead of getting what we wanted, everything kept falling apart.
I won’t tell you whom or what you should send your wishes to — that’s up to your own system of beliefs or your cultural background. But I’ll help you articulate your wish in a way that will maximize your inner energy once you do so.
1. Make it positive
Don’t request that something stops happening, ask for what you want to be happening.
If this stops, what should the situation look like instead?
Instead of — I wish Andrew didn’t embarrass me in front of the whole team each time I speak.
Ask for — I wish Andrew treated me as his equal and let me express my opinions without intruding.
Do you sense the difference?
Why is this a better strategy? Because when one thing stops, there is an infinite number of possibilities that could start happening instead. So you better take control.
3. Make it specific
This is kind of clear from the previous example but it deserves a special space since most people express their wishes along the lines of “more of…” or “less of…”.
I want more money.
I want less stress.
I want more time for myself.
I want fewer conflicts in my marriage.
So what exactly does that mean? If you’d like to have more money, will 100 dollars per month cover your extra expenses? Or does it need to be at least 5,000?